Buzz kill, well relocation anyway

Last week I found myself in the middle of a little swarm. Which turned into a massive swarm. Of bees. Which then turned itself into the beginnings of a very decent hive, right under my deck. So that night after consulting, ahem, Dr Google and his bitch Mrs Wikipedia no less, I thought my research was done and that the swarm would move on in a day or two. Wrong.

So yesterday I called an expert. Well, no first I called another large pest removal company where the woman on the phone unhelpfully informed me that they can't treat anything above 2 metres off the ground. Not standing on the top of a ladder that reaches 2 metres. No. Put your arms over your head. That is about 2m. Any higher than that and they can't help you. Because of Occupational Health and Safety, she said. Ooookaaayy. So, you don't do bee hives then? I asked..... "yes we do, only the low ones". Right, because so many bees choose to make their homes on the ground. So what should I do? I asked her. She advised I find a smaller company that "doesn't abide by the rules and regulations", ie a company that would be happy to use a goddamn ladder (my interpretation). Plus, this company kill them, not remove them, which is not in line with my love the environment and do no harm to furry critters ethos, so bzzzzt! You're out, large-franchised-overcharging-don't-climb-ladders unhelpful-company!

So then I called the experts. A lovely couple who are beekeepers on a large property and would be happy to relocate our happy little hive. For a very small fee. Lovely.


the swarm after it just settled


So I was more than a little concerned when a fairly elderly lady turned up on my doorstep this morning. When she needed help with her ladder (oh, the scandal) she called on her even more frail husband, toting a walking stick. These folks had to be mid 70's to early 80's. Yikes. Now I was worried about her climbing the ladder, armed with her most sophisticated of bee removing tools. A cardboard box!!



one week later, honeycombs protruding



modern bee-capturing technology at its finest; hey, it worked!

Not concerned enough was I to hold her ladder steady though, she had the full gear and I had maybe an orange bag to stick over my head. I'll supervise form the safety of my window with the phone in my hand and poised to dial 000 if needed, mkay?

So into the box, and into a bag they went. She scraped off the rest of the honeycomb and gave me a souvenir for the kids. They were here to stay, she informed me, and would have made a massive hive, even she was surprised by how much work they had done in less than a week.

So I am feeling much better about barbeque's on the deck this summer, and I know my little buzzy friends will be happy in their new home on the farm. No, really, not the kind of farm your parents told you Rusty the dog went to when you were a kid, there actually is a farm, I promise!