Pram, snacks, towels (plus spares for the inevitable drenching of originals throughout morning), picnic blanket, snacks, water bottles, lunch, sunscreen, hats, snacks, clothes, wallet, phone, nappies, wipes, snacks, floaties, goggles. You get the idea.
Today was a disaster. It was packed, both inside and outside pool areas. It was loud, splashy, crowded and a drowning or kid's lost accident waiting to happen. My only saving grace was that I got there early enough to get a car park in a reasonable distance to the venue. My friends arriving an hour later weren't so lucky.
Three hours down, tired happy kids, lunch had and baby slept and fed it was time to go. So I trekked back to the car with pram and aforementioned
Only I forgot that car spaces were now at a premium, and
Only, I have stuff to do. Like unload a fully laden pram, strip 3 kids and apply nappies and undies. Like find lost horse figurines dropped from the back seat. Dismantle and fold a bassinet and pram. Strap 3 kids in, take down the window shades etc, you get the idea. All of which takes a frigging long time. I'd have thought even a complete novice would look at me and think, nah, she'll take too long, I'll keep circling.
But no, this determined individual stuck it out, hellbent on having my spot. So I worked consistently, hating that I feel rushed because of this, just trying valiantly to get out of that hellish car park and let them have it once and for all.
At about the, err, I reckon 6 or 7 minute mark I glanced up and gave a sheepish apologetic wave. Yes, I am that pathetic. (Please like me.) No acknowledgement from the stalker. I press on.
Nearing the end of my odyssey, the kids were all tucked safely away and the pram made it into the boot and was slammed shut. Here my stalker made a critical error; they thought I was done. So they revved their engine. Using all 4 cylinders, woo freaking hoo. Whatever; I am almost, but not quite on the sweet ride home.
Only Big Miss is now in the middle for various long winded and boring car seat manoeuvre reasons and can no longer do up her own belt. Neither hardly can I. So grunting and groaning and once accidentally elbowing Little Boy Blue in the head (sorry mate!) I finally had 3 kids tied down, one crying baby and a very hot and bothered mum.
So do you know what my fellow human did to me at his point, as I reopened the boot to retrieve the dummy for my screaming son, venting all their frustration and annoyance at me for apparently taking too damn long to give them "their" Godforsaken car park?
The tooted long and loudly at me, gave me a rude signal through the window and roared off down the car park in search of fresh meat.
Well the joke was on you buddy, because after waiting almost the full 15 minutes that whole episode took me, you huffed off and about 45 seconds after that I was outta there and another lovely young lady found and took my spot, and as I was driving away I saw you still circling. Karma is a bitch my friend, so be nice to hot, stressed looking mothers struggling with heavy loads on hot days and keep your bloody pants on if you want my car park!!!